kids_teens



Much of what we deal with from the				don't choose to do? When you don't
age of 5 upwards, and in the teenage				get the backup you want, are you able
years, has come from a time before				to look inside to see why not?
then. How is it possible to know what
is really at the heart of the issues that				What life patterns?
life presents to us? From babies to				Why is it that people will often say
primary years and then again from				"you are so like your father!" or
adolescents to young adults, issues				similar? what is it that they are
may not be as distinct as we believe.				really seeing?
Our emotions will drive the shape of
the way we deal with our challenges.				Babies to Kindergarten
				Babies, totally dependent on adults for
For those of you with single parents,				survival, grow to not only become
that one person will have sacrificed				physically and mentally functional,
everything for you .Through good				but grow aware of people around
and bad, do they back you up in				them, and of how others do or do not
whatever you do and whatever you				cope with their feelings. ..

		Throughout our lives, our ability to feel fully and open to others around us,
		opens up new and happier opportunities.

		Primary School Children
		At a time when much of life is simply presented to us as 'you get what you're
		given', how do we teach ourselves to have confidence to learn? After this, at
		around 10 years of age, we are making up our minds if adulthood is for us.

		Adolescents and Teenagers
		Here we will, believe it or not, be needing assistance to set clear objectives
		and plan to achieve goals, particularly with decisions regarding future career
		prospects and employment. Many of you will actively seek out parents of
		friends, sports coaches, Scout or Guide leaders, adults at school, youth
		workers, grandparents or others to assist you.

		If you are fortunate, then interested adults outside our families will make
		themselves available to you to deal with areas of conflict. Parents will be
		asking and demanding that you do certain things or behave properly

which is not what you will want to hear. Holding grudges as a result, with them
or others, will make life hard work and unpleasant.

Now is the time to talk things through and strive to establish a relationship
based on mututal trust and respect with your parents. This effort develops
your sense of personal power at home and in the community. It will be
well rewarded and relieve you of unease further down the track. It
will particularly help when making important decisions about your future.

Some of you will feel as though your parents have unrealistically high
expectations of you, whilst other parents will be unable to listen to what you
want to do for a career. It may be a good time to talk to them about whether
their own wants and dreams were met at this age.

Often you will find that late adolescence is when you can begin to value your
parents once again.

If you want to achieve your potential, be aware that a homework routine
will be fundamental to your success.


Also, you may not want to get into a
situation where you are grounded for
life or find yourself threatened in any
way.

Swearing at parents and siblings can
bring out the worst in families. They
will want you to adopt better
behaviour and you may not find
yourself in the mood. How you
respond here, will determine how you
respond to others outside the family
who may appear to bulldoze your life.

Make time to spend with your parents
while you watch TV or surf the net.
Let them know what you find fun,
amusing and interesting and enjoy the
time you spend with them. (It really
isn't a lot of time).
		Do any of these issues apply to you?
		You constantly question
		"authority"?
		You have times when you shout and
		slam around, unable to reason with
		others and control your feelings?
		In your bigger decision making
		times, do you simply hope you are
		making right choices?
		Is it difficult to open up to a parent?
		Is it hard to build a relationship
		based on trust and respect?
		Your parents cannot show their
		interest in your plans and decisions?
		No homework routine?
		(phone calls, email, listening to
		music and watching TV all get the
		better of you?)


Competitiveness is more than a
game, because you must win?
You have an unwillingness to
meet commitments or take		How do you deal with the reactions
responsibility.		of adults who disagree with you or
You use any learning difficulties you		want to make you wrong? You might
are aware of to keep others at a		want to find time to talk things over
distance or perhaps manipulate		and get support from other parents,
them?		or others such as coaches, neighbours,
		friends, family members and yes, even
Young Adults		teachers. (They have all been there).
The hot issue here is independence.
Having people to phone, or call upon		At this time, you may want to be
to come and help us whenever is		aware of what parents need. The
needed, is essential. This is where		biggest thing for them to adjust to is
distinct choices are made and parents	setting clear plans and goals for the	the changes in their children. They
can only hope they are the right ones.	can only hope they are the right ones.	build up expectations and routines ..
It is important to gain assistance in	future.	by the time their children are 12 or 13

		But when kids change, life nudges them to change their ways and
		attitudes too. We can help each other to do this by voicing what
		we feel when we react or over-react.

		Do you indulge in high risk-taking behaviours? Do you know why?
		Sometimes parents inadvertently create a culture of entitlement and fail to set
		limits or boundaries for their children. If we could free our energy from
		danger, we would understand that the need for safety is central to
		achieving extraordinary things.

		Make time to be with your parents while they watch TV or surf the net and
		avoid holding grudges. Seek fulfillment in every situation for your time with
		them is now limited!

		Do any of these apply to you?
		Peer groups hold sway over you?
		Authority figures make you cringe?
		Issues of puberty weigh on your mind?

You have no clear direction regarding alcohol, drugs and responsibility?
You don't seek inside/outside help for solutions to difficult situations?
Your parents have not changed living arrangements?
Your parents are absorbed in their work and fail to find ways of spending
more time with you?
Your parents cannot understand when to provide strong support and when
give you space to solve your own problems?
You do not feel safe, valued and above all, listened to?
You feel controlled by others?
You use any learning difficulties you are aware of to keep others at a
distance or perhaps use them to manipulate others?
Competitiveness is more than a game because you must win?
You enjoy high risk-taking behaviours or cannot set limits for yourself?

We are often blind to the ways we do things over and over (our patterns and
our thoughts), yet they are likely to be obvious to others. Your Life Patterns
assists you to gain insights into the patterns or games that run you, your peers
and parents It will highlight what you do that prevents you from fully experiencing quality time with them. ..

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